today is today, but what is tomorrow

So today what I've been thinking is different than what I was thinking yesterday...and will probably be different from what I'm thinking tomorrow. But as of right now, I'm considering what I will now call Plan L (I didn't want to start with A because for some reason it would seem like I awarded it a higher place than other options, which isn't true because right now all options seem about equal.)This has probably been inspired by the renewed interest after missing London and looking at friends pictures in big cities....

Plan L:
Finish internship in April
Take a week off
Move back to VA about second week in May...save money
Research jobs in NYC, call to see if there are any openings, set up interviews etc.
Go to Jenna's wedding first week in June
Do more NYC research, take a road trip north, find a job
End of June/July...Move to New York City

digitizing away

So my internet at home has been out for like…well since about Saturday evening. And it really stinks. I pretty much failed at my new calling because I wasn’t able to send Sunday’s program to the Exec. Secretary before their meeting (they were fine though). I haven’t been able to watch last week’s Lost episode. I have to go well out of my way to get and send the documents I’ve been completing freelance. And…I haven’t been able to post on my blog.

While we are looking into getting this problem fixed, I’m thinking I may devise a plan similar to the one I use for posting on the News and Events page on lds.org every Monday, Wednesday, Friday. We simply have a list of documents that we have yet to post and go through and think OK this may be good for Monday, maybe this one for Friday.

So…maybe since currently don’t have internet at home, I can write posts as they come to me and just keep a virtual stack of the pages and pages of my endless thoughts and ideas. Never again will an anonymous comment chastise me for my lacking of updates….. hmm, an idea to consider.

I’ve semi-officially started a search for a new job after my internship. Some of the places I’ve been interested in applying to for a while are scrapbook magazines in various locations. For these positions you have to send in (in addition to writing samples, etc.) samples of scrapbook pages, paper crafted projects, or digital scrapbook pages…depending on the specific magazine. With this in mind, I have stepped into the world of digital scrapbooking.

I’ve wanted to do this since I got back from London. I simply had too many pictures to try to print and there are always pictures that you might want but don’t want to print full size. Digital scrapbooking solves these problems…although I don’t yet know if I am sold. I’m exploring more and more what it offers but don’t know much about how you print them and how that actually works. I just don’t really like the idea of full page color copies of a flat page. If that makes sense.

But I have found a lot of online resources, such as free downloadable scrapbook supplies. There’s lots of paper, embellishments, and letters, etc. It’s kinda interesting. Anyways here are some of my first attempts of the digital scrapbooking world. There aren’t very good, I know, but I had halfway created them before I found out about the online supplies. The red is a little weird…before I was just using a computerized red-filled box but when I export to a jpeg it looks really really really flat. So, I am still in search of a good, red “paper.”

GA UPDATE

OK, one more.

I just ran into Bishop H. David Burton as I got off the elevators to go the the cafeteria. He was very pleasant and smiled and said hello. Yay!

GA Spottings...All Week Long

So this morning was a good morning. I got up early, showered, actually did my hair, and left my house a good 30 minutes before I normally do. The weather was amazing! It was just a cool, morning temperature, but the kind that makes you happy rather than frozen, shivering, and bitter. There was no precipitation last night so no need to scrape off my car. Whup Whup. The drive in took a little longer than usually; I hit practically every light, but I was satisfied with the morning so it didn’t bother me. And then…I was pulling around in the Conference Center parking garage and slowed down for an elderly man crossing in front of me on the west side. I recognize him…it’s Elder Perry! I smile…then nod. He looks up, sees my likely apparent excitement, smiles and nods back, and waves a thank you. I turn the corner, chanting, “I saw Elder Perry, I saw Elder Perry” - My first General Authority sighting while working in Church Headquarters.

And the sightings will continue this evening. We are having a department devotional with Elder Tingey as the speaker. We will have a light dinner beforehand and then meet in the chapel in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. And we are supposed to bring our scriptures because Elder Tingey is apparently going to have an involved lesson/talk. Anyways that's pretty cool because it's just my department and we all get to meet Elder Tingey...who is, afterall, my guess for the new member of Q12.

Duh duh duh…there’s more in the next week. Yesterday I received an email from Wendy (a secretary in my department who is also in my ward) saying that the executive curriculum committee wanted to meet all the interns. And who is the executive curriculum committee made up of? General Authorities! So on Tuesday at approximately 9 a.m., I will be meeting Elder Jay E. Jensen, Elder Gary J. Coleman, Elder W. Douglas Shumway, Elder Yoshihiko Kikuchi, and Elder Gerald N. Lund. No worries. Wendy tells us they are all genuinely nice and kind so there’s no need to be nervous.

Creative Suites

Ok so at some point I am going to buy Adobe’s Creative Suite. I’ve been doing some freelance stuff for my sister Julie using the month trial version of Indesign so if (by if I mean when) that runs out I’ll either have to buy it myself or not do any more work. CS3 with the student discount, which I can still get, is about $220. This includes the most recent versions of Indesign, Photoshop, Illustrator…and a couple smaller things. THEN, I get an email through my ward email list from someone who is trying to sell a brand new CS2 for a mac. They thought they were going to buy a Mac but ended up getting a PC instead. I think her asking price is $100. I’m trying to decide what I should do. It’s only a $120 difference to get the newer version. But I might be able to get her to go down… But I wonder if it would be worth it to just get the updated one now.

blank

I swear I've been thinking about millions of things to blog lately but I sign on and...there's nothing.

So I guess we get randomness...

I want to start my own business. Someday. I want to get on top of life, organize myself, and make things happen like I know I can. I know I can, but I just have to push myself. Sometimes I wish guys would be more forward. Don't make me initiate everything aight? Sometimes I wish there were more time in the day so I could get more done and not seem to waste my time on the trivial things that have to be done everyday. Sometimes I don't - I wish the days would go by faster. I like recognizing a problem and working through all the possibilities to get it solved. I like being involved, giving input and making suggestions. I love being in the situation where I feel comfortable doing so. I love finding new things and making them my own. I wish I could concentrate on reading more. Sometimes I wish I were more opinionated...sometimes I wish I could just continue learning about everything without having to choose one way or another. I love dressing up every day. I love sleeping and wish I got more. I hate moving, but love the thought of new situations and new experiences. I like the idea of moving to a big city by myself but it also freaks me out. I love having my own room. I love huge closets. And shoes. I love finding the best deals. I hate having the urge to buy something just because it's cheap. I love email conversations with individuals across the world. I wish they were closer. I appreciate friends who take a minute to pass along a friendly thought or compliment. I like experiencing things for myself and gaining appreciate for things other people like. I love my career choice but have yet to find the perfect job. Someday I want to consider teaching...in a high school. I want to use my experiences to help others find passion. I get jealous...really easily. Sometimes I want my friends to just be my friends, and not yours. :) I love finding a place for everything in your life. I hate that I'm scared of people. I hate that this keeps me away from experience everything I can and achieving what I'm capable of. I love being myself. I love the experience of finding out who that is. Sometimes I wonder what makes the difference..why does one night in Paris differ so dramatically from 3 years in Provo. That makes me sad. I want to be recognized for who I am. I love motivated people. Those with high, confident goals are probably those who I am most attracted to. I want to find the strength to reach for what I want in life. I love music. I love finding the perfect song to match your mood at any moment. I love using that to grasp an emotion and thrive on it for a minute. Sometimes I'm confused about everything. Sometimes I don't want to figure it out. I love walking in busy streets. I love strolling and window shopping. I like letting my hair dry while watching a movie and cuddling in a blanket. I hate the look afterwards. I love phone conversations with good friends. I love accidentally throwing together an amazing outfit. I like keeping lists. I hate it when nothing gets accomplished. I find it interesting that you can have the same beliefs as somewhere but differ so dramatically in opinions on things. I don't ever want to be pushed to do something when I don't really agree or want to. I don't like people assuming their ideas are shared by others. I don't know where to end this. I love writing. I think I suck at it. I'm amazed at what other people can create. I love spending time by myself. Sometimes I'd rather. I love watching movies late at night. I love no commercials. Nothing seems satisfactory enough to end on. I'm stuck. I love pictures and memories and people who cross your path but you don't think much of until they later embrace you as a close, old friend. I love people who reach out and make you feel loved and included. I wish I were more of that kind of person. I worry too much. I think about things too much. I'm a stalker...yep, I have skills. I'm falling asleep. ..I hate that I can't wake up to an alarm clock.

The path of poetry

OK, so I am the first to admit that analyizing poetry was never my favorite thing to do in that darn AP English class my senior year. But...I think it's the kind of thing I enjoy doing when I'm not being forced to do it. And I think that has to do with the way I view and use poetry in my life. I like poetry that holds a secret; that expresses something that could never really be expressed in a different way; that relys on the rhythm, the words, the emphasis. Part of what makes good poetry good, in my quickly assembled opinion on the subject, requires question, elements of the unknown, and the opportunity to relate the words to a variety of subjects and situations. When analyizing poetry, I don't know if it is ever fully possible to recognize exactly what the author was thinking, feeling, or relating to. What he thinks about one thing, might make you think about something entirely different in your own world. What she thinks is so entirely obvious in a phrase of cleverly combined words, might only bring you confusion. The world is full of different thoughts, opinions, ideas, and people. The situations each person encounters and enters into are based on all kinds of different dillemas, thoughts, or persuasions. I love that. I love that everyone is so different, and I love the opportunity to try to understand people for who they are and for the unique aspects of their lives.

This short, unnamed piece probably isn't much, but I think it would be interesting to see how different people interpret it, what elements stand out, what it makes them think of, and what they get from it.


It moves on...
The ground beneath my feet
A look on...
Reveals no movement underneath
I try to see, to reach, to stop
Yet…
It moves on

I'm standing still, yet falling back
The time is now—the time is past
The wet, the cold, now on my face
Nothing can retract the race...
It moves on

The cycle continues, yet I do not
The seeings blurred, my sight is lost
Thoughts and efforts are overcome
At last, I think, all things be done

The movement on has taken control
The moment off is a fading fuel
The hopes, the dreams, the goals, it seems…
Are moving on

The Monson Legacy

OK forget Holladay-4, I think the crazy ward setup out here in Salt Lake should officially be called...The Monson Legacy.

Yep, that's right. Apparently he's behind it all. My ward here in SLC is actually part of a sort of suma ward thing that's made up of 4 (actually I guess now it's 3 cuz one just got cut out) wards. Now, we each have our own bishopric and assorted callings but everything kinda operates as one big one. Once a month, all of the wards combine for church. We have our own Relief Society's and Priesthood's but Sunday School and Sacrament Meeting are combined. So once a month, we have church at 9 am instead of 1 pm. Most of the activities are combined and we do all kinds of crazy things with the other wards...but its like all our ward...interesting.

So the other night my bishopric came over to meet and visit with me. We got talking about the ward and that's when they explain that the whole setup was now President Monson's idea...his "brain child" if you will. Wow, pretty cool right. And since he is so involved in it, he keeps special tabs on us and watches how the whole thing is working and how successful it is. (which probably means how many marriages do they get out of this crown often deemed the "BYU retirement center")One of the guys in our leadership is apparently President Monson's hometeacher...how's that for a calling eh? But I guess this time last year, President Monson came to visit the wards and even played a couple of his favorite songs on the piano. CRAZINESS. So let's just say, I told them I'm all for them repeating the experience. It's not like he's busy or anything.

Also John Bytheway is one of our High Counselors and he often has to come speak to the ward. I'm pleased so far.

While we were all talking the bishopric asked if I'd like a calling and what kinds of things I'd done before. In the middle of the conversation, one of them was like, "I know right now what your calling will be." Of course, I don't know. But I guess I'll find out soon.

It's always interesting to see what people's first impressions of you lead to.

I am in love with the McDonald's Girl

Haha, so this made me laugh tons. In high school we were all really big on Inside Out. Yep, we pretty much listened to them all the time. Especially in Paul's car on the way home from school. We even saw them perform at the D.C. Temple Visitors Center. If you haven't heard of their song, McDonald's Girl, maybe you should listen to it before you read the text. This is just a crummy video from YouTube, btw, but you get the point. My dear friend was kind enough to send me these lyrics that were put together to go along with that song. A little history: I worked at Build-a-Bear Workshop, we were friends from the same stake, went to the same high school and were in the same math class (F/AG if you will), and I did go to Prom with him.


KARIE SALISBURY
(to tune of McDonald's Girl by Inside Out)

CHORUS:
I am in love with Karie Salisbury
She has a smile of innocence
So tender and warm
I am in love with Karie Salisbury
She is an angel in a bear factory uniform

I leave from science just not feeling right
The hall is not long but people try to get in the way
I turn the corner as I dodge a fight
I do my homework and I rehearse what I'm gonna say
This might be a big surprise, don't point and laugh and don't tease
I love the light in your eyes, just go to prom with me please

She doesn't try to impress anyone
She doesn't try to be tough like all the girls that I know
She don't treat me like I'm just a Mormon
I wanna say how I feel if I could just let go
Can't put my feelings on hold, I hope she doesn't say no
She's just seventeen years old, and I'm in love with her so

She's there using her own calculator
Doing work as it sucks her energy like a leach
If Jones knew how much I wanted her
He'd leave and we'd have a break for the rest of the school week
And as she heads for the door, I look straight into her eyes
My heart begins to soar, she smiles and waves goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

It's one o'clock

Have you ever encountered something where you don't know what it is or why it is happening? I know that is rather vague, but I'm sure I've had it happen several several times. My most recent experience?

A couple weeks ago my computer at work was doing something strange so they took it away and brought me a new one...it looked the exact same but was, or at least they told me, a new computer. And yes, it is a Mac. Anyways, this is about when it started happening...

I listen to music online while I work and occasionally watch video clips and such. So there is a bit of sound coming from random places. Every so often I would hear this random, almost creepy-sounding, sound will come up for a second. It was probably at least 3 days before I realized that it was actually saying something...what? The time. On the hour every hour. It was really random but once I figured out what it was, I didn't want to get rid of it. I had become used to, perhaps even comforted by, the strange sound that was sure to come around. Kinda strange. It went from being so strange, puzzling, and slightly annoying, to being something that I've ended up keeping around.

Isn't it also interesting about how tons and tons of people never actually change their clocks in their cars during Daylight Savings Time. I was noticing this this morning as I thought...hmmm, I should probably actually THINK about doing that. But then I started rationalizing that it's already February and come April (or so?) I'd simply have to change it back. I don't doubt that I can change it, or that it will probably be pretty simple, but I've simply gotten used to the fact that my clock is an hour late.

those of significance

And I think this will be the last post for now. Three in one day. Go me!

I really really REALLY appreciate my friends. I've realized this a lot lately and have tried to make sure the people whom I care a lot about really know it. Last Thursday, I visited Provo and made my rounds to visit some of my good friends. I went home so happy that day and so grateful that I have those relationships. And that the separate amounts of time I was able to spend with each of them were times I truly appreciated and enjoyed.

Jenna and Grace: Wow, I am so glad I know these girls. And that, I have been able to live with them and to know them so well, to be so comfortable with them and really being able to just simply be good friends. Jenna and I go back to primary days and were pen pals for years before we randomly met up at BYU again. And Grace I met through Jenna my freshman year of college. I remember thinking they were both very fun and their apartment was basically the only girls Katie and I spent any time with. Yes, I was a little hesitant to live with them at first, (they seemed really young and girly girls and I knew Brienne the best at the time) but I can't imagine what it would have been like if I hadn't. I'm so glad they've put up with me and hope that we can always come back together and be completely comfortable.

Gabe: Cough, cough. I mean GRIEL! Thank you every so much for being a part of my life. I don't know really, at all, how things got to be where they are with us. I can't really tell you exactly what I thought when we first met at that FHE and began the 15/21 friendship, but I definitely never imagined we'd be what we are. I really do appreciate and enjoy the time we spend together and how I've become so comfortable with you. Granted, you and I both know that I'm not the most open person ever, but really you are one of the few I feel most comfortable with. I know it's not as much as it may seem with other people, but for me, it's significant. And I think it's becoming more and more so the more I get to know you. Thank you for always caring and being interested in my life.

And Paul...

In about November I started this post as a letter to my friend Paul that I never actually posted. I'm not sure why. But I went ahead and updated a bit

Paul,

You are probably my best friend. FYI. Thanks for always being there to talk to me. Thanks for always trying to understand or at least caring enough to pay attention until you can. We've talked about our rough beginning and how amazing it is that our conversations have developed so much. I can talk with you about pretty much anything, and I love the way we can be completely honest with each other...brutally honest, but maybe that's just me. :) Thank you for seeing the little things that really add up to make me who I am and for understanding what I've learned from past experiences and being able to apply that to what you see for my future. You are the best.

I see you with someone who lives for little moments. She isn't one to get caught up on the things that really don't matter. She probably won't be a dancer, but will enjoy learning from you. She loves to laugh, and to talk about anything and everything. She appreciates that she can talk about something and you can actually sit back and listen. She also enjoys spending an evening together where you don't have to talk or do much at all, you can just be together. She'll be probably the kindest, sweetest person you know, but she's not afraid to give you or anyone else (but mostly you) a hard time when you really need it. She's light-hearted and will find the good out of nearly any situation. She can list the quirky things about you but hates it (in a good kind of way) when you embarrass her. She is a hard worker but devotes most of her attention to people and the needs of people around her. She loves music and, although she may not personally be the best singer, loves to goof off and sing at the top of her lungs with you...especially in the car.

Anyways... I love my friends. Thank you for being there for me and for everything that you are.

and it goes on

My internet is still down so I will continue...

One of the things I've done a bit at the Church magazines is write "reviews" if you will, of talks by General Authorities. I covered the CES fireside by Elder Tingey (he's my vote for Q12), the BYU devotional by Pres. Eyring, and an LDSBC devotional by Elder Pace. So a couple things. I've really enjoyed this because I really get to dive into their messages, audience, and get to pick out the best quotes and points, and I personally get a lot more from them than I might normally. So that's cool. But at the same time, I kinda feel I little weird, somewhat editing what they say. I am not under any obligation to present the info in the same order they gave it. So I pick what I think is the most important and I put that first. It's kinda weird to me, because what's saying that the next person is going to give those points the same importance...does this make sense?

Also, I've found that sometimes if I don't want to put a certain emphasis on something, I'll change the wording or the order to make to eliminate it. For example, in Elder Pace's article (to cover this I only had this kinda lame sumup so that was weird anyways) he said a lot about how we have to withstand the "Persecution" from the world. Maybe I'm just sheltered, but I don't really feel like we are being persecuted. Yea, people might write or say stuff against Mormons. Yea people don't understand our beliefs and create opinions etc that don't correctly reflect what we do...but, well, I'm not sure if that is persecution. This is probably just me, but when I think persecution, I think..no one will accept me for being Mormon, that I have to hide it ... or die. My life is threatened, I'm hurt, you know, the whole Beauty and the Beast scene with flames and attackers joining together against you... I just think that we have to fight for our beliefs just as much as the next person.

So I tried not to put too much of an emphasis on the idea that members are being persecuted for their beliefs. And...I wonder if that is bad. I'm supposed to be unbiased aren't I? If you want....look at both and tell me what you think. Here's a link to my writeup....nvm....why doesnt this let you link to a document?

a bit of reflection

OK here goes

My internet is down so I can't do the numerous things that usually distract me from doing important things like writing in my blog. So, following the lengthy list of things I have put down to blog about, I am taking the opportunity to finally write about these things and will hopefully upload this as soon as the internet comes back. And this is all so you anonymous commenter will stop yelling at me... ;)

I figure I'd better say a little bit about President Hinckley before that gets to be too "old" of news. I, like nearly everyone else, received a text message and quickly forwarded on the news. It was kinda sudden but it was something we all knew was coming at some point so it wasn't really THAT shocking or upsetting.

Because I've been working at the Church magazines this obviously has had a bit of an impact to our schedule: creating new articles as a memorial, pulling other material, stopping the press from printing the April issue...not to mention dozens of other things. Then comes the affects of a new presidency.... you know that 1st presidency message in the ensign every month? Yea...we need to make sure we have one. and we can't use any from Pres. Hinckley anymore. At the first point we only knew for sure one of them would still be there that we might be able to use. Also, Pres Eyring's bio from being called to the 1st presidency hadn't even printed yet. So we had to pull that until we knew, and are now holding it again until we can print the 2 first presidency bios together. There are dozens of other things (for example going through everything for the next year of magazines and make sure titles are corrected - Packer is now president of the 12, rather that acting, President Monson, President Uchtdorf...and for the next 10 months of magazine material, that can be a lot. (FYI, a couple of weeks ago we planned the Jan. 2009 issue, so yes, we are way ahead.)

I'd like to take this moment to apologize for my horrible horrible typing and capitalization and punctuation. I've kinda stopped doing it consistently lately because my comp is in a makeshift set up right now and I'm typing on a pillow and it is just taking too much effort to try to do it right...Sorry,

Anyways, we talked a lot about the potential outcomes at work. We were all hoping Pres. Eyring would stay in because that would give us more 1st Presidency messages, one less bio to write, etc. Given how recent his appointment was, we all thought that Pres. Monson probably had a large part in his call as well. The other one was completely in the air and we knew it (Utchdorf was a complete surprise to me, but I like it)

Throughout all this talk, I kept thinking about what it might possible feel like to have been called to the 12 and slowly see those senior to you die off. One by one. And with every death, you are one step closer to being President. While some might fear this would make a lot of people anxious and power happy, I don't think that's ever a possibility in the Quorum of the 12. But still...can you imagine if that were you? Seriously...Wow.

They actually mentioned this in the press conference today. One of the reporters asked Pres. Monson about it ... I don't think he answered it directly, but it was interesting.

I was listening to the radio on my way to work last week and this awful lady called in about how dumb it is that everyone is Utah lowered the flag for Pres. Hinckley. ... Really??? It was kinda extreme and completely, well, dumb. Didn't we even lower the flag when the Pope died? At BYU, they always lower the flag when one of our students dies, we always do when any local person dies in the war...she was simply closed minded and only saw the situation in a very small sense. The DJ's addressed it pretty well and said that people really just need to stop worrying about themselves and how they are being treated and focus outward. And that's whether you are Mormon or not (this was all discussed in a Utah context) He recognized the fact that sometimes Mormons can be extremely exclusive; they can very easily fall into the mindset that they are better than the non-Mormons around them, they look down on others and judge,

This definitely isn't always the case but I've seen it so many times around me. And I don't want to be that person. It's made me question a lot of the things and actions I do and what those around me do. I really do think that I always try to be open minded and not quick to judge -- past experiences have made this a really really important quality to me. So I've been thinking about my mindset and trying to really direct myself away from those kinds of thoughts and actions. Recently I was able to have a talk with someone who doesn't believe the things I do and who doesn't act the way that I act. It was kinda refreshing. It was nice to look over all of those things in a completely different mindset. And to be able to look at this person in the same way. The evening this person and I had together was something that could have easily been with a person other than myself. But, when I look at the other people I know who it could have been with, I think I like my reaction to it the best. I don't want to try to change this person, I just want to understand and let them feel understood. I want them to feel comfortable with me, talking about their own life decisions, and know that while those things might be different from my own life, that I understand, accept, and am still there for them.