It's a popular topic of conversation. Well, at least I've encountered it quite a few times in my past years.
What's your worst date story?
Now I have to admit that I hadn't had too many horrible dates. Most had been OK, although not neccesarily spectacular. But I didn't think they compared to other extravagant stories. The best I could do was inexperienced group high school dates where I had no idea what was going on, stressed out, and ended up crying when my date came to pick me up.
In February, however, I do believe I had my worst date to (haha) date. Interested? Here goes:
I drive myself crazy with unknown numbers calling my cell phone. Who is it? Why are they calling me? I don't usually answer because, well, what if it's someone I don't want to talk to? But if they don't leave a message I am, first off, really annoyed and second, driven into an obsessive search to identify the number. Usually (although not always) the number is a personal number and not easily accessible.
So when an unknown number showed up on my phone screen halfway through my work day, I obviously did not answer. But for the rest of my day, random thoughts about this mysterious phone call crept in and out of my mind. (See, I'm kinda crazy.) And when the phone number called again near the end of my work day, I couldn't resist taking a break and answering. But right when I get up to answer, I miss the call. So I just call it right back. (Again, not my brightest moment.)
Hello?
Hey, this is Karianne. Did you just call?
Oh hey, yea. This is... (and he goes on to tell me who he is and from where.)
Now in my mind I'm thinking this is kinda weird because I never talk to this kid. Yea I think he's cute and kinda had a far away awkward crush on him. But again, I never talk to him so it seemed a bit random.
Well I was wondering if you are doing anything this Friday.
Oh I don't think so.
Awesome, do you want to go to the dinner/dance with me? There's going to be a band and a catered dinner and such.
Oh sure, that sounds like fun.
We chat a bit longer, and my puzzlement increases. The topics of choice made me a little confused and then all of the sudden, everything clicked.
This was not the kid I thought it was. It was, in fact, another kid with the same name who did actually always talk to me about the random subjects of conversation we had just encountered. In my head I think it's hilarious and can't wait to tell someone who understands the situation. This kid has also always been interested in the fact that I dance and has always talked about it like he dances too. And I enjoy dancing so even if this kid is really weird and awkward, at least I can have a evening of good dancing...right??
In case you aren't catching my drift, that ends up being so far from what was the "right" way to predict how the evening would go.
He picks me up at 8 p.m. In hand he has two individually wrapped roses. (Later I found out that they were on sale at Macy's where I guess he works and gets a discount, so hey he thought why not.) I'm not exactly a flower person, specifically from random people I don't really know and who should for no reason be getting me flowers. So I'm like uuuh thanks, make a face at my roommate (he couldn't see), wonder what to do, end up just setting them laying down on the counter and say, alright let's go.
We make a stop at his house because he forgot the tickets and he (ironically) points out the house of the other person I had thought was calling. Another inside laughing moment for me.
As we are walking into the dance, I see my friend from back home with her husband. (She was pregnant until that evening...Congrats Brindy!) Of course in my head I'm thinking, "Of course I see people I know while on this awkward date."
But I didn't even know.
There's a big line for dinner, but my date chats it up with some people he knows and we jump ahead in line. (Yes! Probably the only evening's highlight.) And I was thinking OK this will be OK, now we have other people to talk to to. I'm not sure when but somehow that blasted couple got away from us.
This is when the awkward introductions start. This kid knows a lot of people/teachers and guess who got introduced to every single one. Me. Hey blah blah, this is Karianne. Hey blah blah, this is Karianne.
I just awkwardly say hi and move on. (Do I really need to meet everyone he knows and only in passing, when there's no reason that I'll see them at all in the evening or talk to them ever again.)
So we eat. There weren't many places to sit and we end up taking a couple openings at a table full of I think married couples who knew each other.
After eating really slowly, he asks me to dance and I'm like OOK. On the way to the dance floor, I'm again awkwardly introduced to some people. They ask if we know what we're doing...and we joke, like oh yea (because I do! and I
think he does) and chat for a minute and then go on. We do some awkward swing steps for a minute and it quickly morphs into a scene from a middle school dance in the standard dance position swaying back and forth...really just standing there. I think it's just the song but after the next one, then two, I realize that this kid in fact has no idea how to dance at all...and I'm the first to admit I am not a good teacher. And I mean, this situation could easily be fun if you were a) with someone you liked and b) with someone you knew and could just bust out and be silly with. But no. We were the serious sway back and forth dancers. I just looked over his shoulder and watched the other people busting out.
I'm getting tired and bored. I look at the clock. It reads 9:40. (WHaaT?? He picked me up at 8 and after dinner and a bit of dancing that's only how late it is???) Maybe the time was passing so slowly because I never got a chance to talk. That's right, I think the entire night I said maybe 3 sentences. The rest of the conversation space was filled with him talking about every single play he's ever been in (he's a big theater guy) and pretty much every scene and line and funny moment on set. Plus every little tidbit about loads of other plays and actors, etc.
I like plays but I'm not obsessed like that...I mean COME ON!!!
In addition I heard pretty much about the entire history of the Institute performing groups and the various leadership groups and all of the loads of funny, cool people that are in them. Oh and I got the DL on the great important callings his parents have and how many General Authorities have stayed at his house and all of his encounters with the prophet and other important people. There was one moment near the end where (Surprise!!) he asked me what I like to do for fun. I go into stuff, desperate to change the subject and possible stop him from blabbing away but to no avail. One pause and he says, "speaking of ...." and goes off on something that to this day I have no idea how it was related and how he so coyly played the "speaking of" card to get to talk about it.
The band had taken a break and we unfortunately have to head back to the dance floor. Time is dragging. I look at the clock again and WHAT?? It's only 10:10? How is that possible?!?!?!
I can't help yawning and my date goes on and on and on and on about some topic somewhat related to the ones I mentioned. I couldn't help myself. I was beyond bored and tired and couldn't sway back and forth for a minute longer. I suggest getting water and after wasting as much time as possible, say we should probably sit down and take a break. I mean it was only 10...how could I take 2 more hours of this?
OK this may have been the second highlight of the evening, because when we found ourselves a place to sit down, we were by a different clock than the one I had been looking at before and I realized that the other clock was an hour slow!!! So I only had one hour left instead of two!! Hallelujah!!!! (I soo almost spelled that right on the first try.)
I would have suggested leaving early but this kid was soooo into and involved in everything going on that I couldn't do it. By the time we finally left I was falling asleep and could barely dance...I mean stand up...at all. I think he got the idea and we left a good 10 minutes early.
We say goodnight. I laugh histerically to myself about how bad that date went. But hey, now I've got a story right? I go to bed. The next week I learn that he won an insane amount of tickets to the musical, Wicked. I contemplate my options but in the end decide to stay far, far away.
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