my last stalking comments...i promise

My stalking impulses have to stop. I realized that tonight when a brief--and I mean, ever so brief--comment crossed through my head. Perhaps my joking mannerisms and thoughts are starting to seep their way into my "normal" thoughts and actions. Perhaps it will only be a matter of time before I can no longer separate the two from one another. For these reasons, I have to stop.

My regular visit to the Facebook homepage once again revealed, as I mentioned, this secret crush's status right up there on the top of my mini-feed. After days and days ;) of resisting looking at his profile, I finally gave in and clicked on that little blue link next to that little red heart. Once I stumbled onto his profile, I decided to look at his pictures. After all, it has been a while since I've seen him, remember.

As I'm doing this I'm thinking about how my sister Susie has said, "I really don't think he's that cute." Obviously I disagree with her, and I was confirming my opinion as I clicked on each picture. In fact, at one picture I thought, "What is she talking about, he's so cute!"

It was at the immediately following moment that I realized my impulses must be stopped, and they must be stopped now.

My somewhat innocent notice of his cuteness made me think that I should take that picture and crop it to be just him so I could prove to Susie his cuteness. After all, I know from experience that she won't venture to his profile to look for herself.

From there, I experienced a brief series of thoughts. One picture would not be enough. Shouldn't I gather all of the exceptional pictures and compile them for a more accurate viewing. And then...well, then I pictured my entire wall covered with creepy stalker pictures of this kid....

I knew my stalking impulses had run their course and would must now end.

So I may be going through withdrawals. I may cut out Facebook. I may not even seem like myself. But I will smother these impulses once and for all...well, at least the unhealthy, creepy ones.