Spending time alone

I browse a lot of online articles and one day found several that seemed somewhat related. It must be the journalist in me because when I find something of interest, I automatically start gathering sources and points that tie together. Now for those of you who subscribe to my blog, you may have received an advanced preview of some of those sources for this post. One of my little blogging habits is to open drafts and paste links, tidbits, and random thoughts from which I plan to form an actual post later. (I just have to remember to change the date and time to keep it up to date.) And I admit I have dozens of these so called drafts that never make it past my account. Since I accidentally published the draft of this post, I decided to make it a priority in my to-post list.

Without explanation, I know this title seems a little, well, depressing. After all, aren't most thoughts related to being "alone" negative? In Lauren Mackler's article, "Finding the Opportunity in Being Alone," she mentions people often associate things like "lonely," "unwanted," and "afraid" with the idea of being alone.

"Whether single or part of a couple, many people perceive aloneness as something to avoid rather than embrace," she states. "Mastering the art of aloneness is not about being alone. It means living a life in which you feel whole and happy, and can take care of yourself emotionally and financially. It involves embracing aloneness as an opportunity to develop the self-awareness and life skills needed to live a full and gratifying life."

I feel like I could just quote this entire article, but I'll let you check it out for yourself. Among some benefits of taking time to be by yourself, Mackler emphasizes opportunities to "learn about and develop who you are," "do what you love, in which you excel," and "create and live your ideal life."

I definitely think there are social notions related to being alone that are hard to overcome. I said this for almost a year before I tried, but going to a movie by myself was one way I decided to try to break through some of those notions. This was something I had never ever thought about doing. And I remember numerous times stating that this was one activity I couldn't/wouldn't ever attempt by myself. But then I talked to three or four others who said they'd done this and had actually enjoyed it. I was surprised, but eventually decided to try. I won't go into the experience much but I thought it was funny how different it was.

Is the idea of spending time alone still scary? Or is it something you are comfortable with? We all know the people who can't stand to be alone. Or those who actually prefer solitary situations. Not that either is a bad thing, but there are simply some people who must surround themselves with others at all times, and there are others who are comfortable doing things by themselves.

Which are you?

I enjoyed this article by Brett Blumenthal from Sheer Balance, "Do You Spend Enough Time Alone," because it talked about some of the benefits and challenges faced. While some struggle to be comfortable with "arranging solitary me time," some actually NEED this time to recharge. I don't think it's any surprise, but I'm definitely an "alone person." When I think about coming home after a long, tough day, I want to come home to an empty apartment and do whatever I want without distraction for an hour or so to unwind. (Ahh, that's bliss. :P) And there are several activities that I'd definitely choose to do by myself rather than with someone else, like...shopping. (That's the best I could come up with off the top of my head.) Not that I mind shopping as a group activity, but if I'm going shopping with a purpose, it's definitely something I prefer to do by myself.

But again, there has to be a balance. My favorite point from this article is #6: A Higher Appreciation for Those You Love.

Giving yourself the ability to be alone allows you to have a greater appreciation for the time you spend with others. If you never have time for yourself, you'll wish you did. It is important to find some balance in this; but once you do, you'll enjoy your relationships even more."

Music Monday—Sean Fournier

This is one artist I’ve been meaning to feature for a while now. I mostly like this guy (in addition to his music :P) for reflecting the changing role of music and how we use it today. Everyone has to acknowledge that the transition to digital media has taken a huge swipe at music. And despite the attempts to restrict sharing music (and regardless of ethical issues and whatnot), there really isn’t a sure way to stop it. So guess what? It’s going to keep happening.

An issue like this is one where most draw (or don’t draw) a line for themselves. For example, if you buy or download a cd, is it OK to copy those files to your computer, iPod, laptop, backup cd, etc? Is it ok to give that backup cd to a friend—who doesn’t plan on buying the material himself? Without defining where that line actually is or should be, the truth is we all know this stuff happens all the time.

Online sources like Project Playlist, IMEEM, Myspace and iLike help music seekers determine what they like and dislike before they have to commit to a purchase. Even so, most people don’t really want to buy music that they aren’t going to end up listening to, or even liking.

And getting back to Sean Fournier, like many new up and coming artists, he is giving away his music for free.

New artists really can't expect people to go out and buy the music of someone they've never heard of. But offer some free downloads, and you just might create a following that can get you someone in the music world today. More on this will come later, but for now...enjoy Sean Fournier.



If you like what you hear and want to help share his music, check out his "How To Spread it Like the Plague" page. (Check out the demonstrations...it's funny. You have to actually drag the album.) Also, check out his blog for some interesting tidbits about his music and watching it spread.

BYU Communications Magazine

It's kinda funny because I've been getting my resume and portfolio stuff updated so I can start applying for various jobs and, in doing so, have obviously been browsing through the 2008 BYU
Communications alumni magazine that I designed my last semester of school.

...which is a lot of fun for me, because I loved that project and was reminded how much I like that kind of design.

And for a brief amount of time there was actually some talk of me designing this next year's issue as well. But, obviously, that fell through and today I learned what happened...and think it turned out great for the department.

Via the BYU Communications blog (for any of you fellow former or current students), I was excitedly updated about the recent release of the 2009 issue, now named the "Comms Alumni and Friends" magazine. Turns out the whole magazine was handed over to the Bradley Public Relations Agency where it had an editor-in-chief, someone over layout & design, someone over cover design, senior editors, copy editors and contributing writers.

I think that's AWESOME because a year ago, it was being handled by just me and Emily Bennion, who took the role of editor and writer. And it has come even further from the previous issues from years before.

So my quick review of the publication via pdf (I will have to get myself a copy of the actual copy):

I think the cover is great! This one page that holds so much importance was the page that personally gave me the most trouble. I started out wanting to create a typical magazine cover with a prominent image and text blurbs featuring the inner content. But we kept running into road blocks because we only had a couple high quality photos that would work, but that were later deemed "not OK" to go on the cover (just a few BYU-related issues :P). Then we wanted the cover to feature the magazine's main feature article, but again, photos were the issue. And now, looking back, I think I just got caught in a creative design block where it was hard to wander completely away from the original idea for the cover. I wasn't satisfied with the final product but with the limited time I was allowed to spend on it (student work limits), the news that we couldn't use the other photos and, of course, the upcoming deadline, we had to get to press. (And sometimes that's how it is in the world of newspapers and magazines.) I also like the overall theme that they've incorporated throughout the entire publication. Although there are some things I'd personally do differently, overall I think they suceeded in coming up with a great finished product...even though I would have loved to have a second shot at it!!!

Twilight Parody

I stumbled onto this video while diving into one of my routine "update myself on everything going on online" stints. OK that makes it sound pretty intense, but it's really just sorting through dozens and dozens of new emails, blog posts, news articles, facebook and twitter updates, finishing online projects, etc. etc.

It's been posted since February so I'm sure many of you have seen it but I was actually more impressed than I expected. More information about the girls that put the video together is available at thehillywoodshow.com. It does start a little slow and IS a little long, but hey, it's entertaining.

Google Reader—How To Subscribe

I know several of you are somewhat new to the blogging world and might not have lots of blogs to currently follow. But the numbers are probably increasing and you might want a better way to keep track of the updates...right??

Maybe not. Maybe you have a system that works perfectly for you, and that's great. (There are lots of options and features out there.) But, as I'm hoping to increase my official blog subscribers I know there are some that I will have to introduce to RSS feeds and, my pick, Google Reader.

Most Web sites that are frequently updated with new content have a feed that you can "subscribe" to so it lets you know when each site has new material. There are several ways to do this; most sites will have some sort of link saying something like Subscribe or RSS. If you click on that it will give you several options to get the site's updates. My favorite, as mentioned, is through Google, called Google Reader, which I honestly think is the most convenient. Almost everybody has a Google account whether it be for Gmail, Google Docs (now has a new name I think), Picasa, etc. So you might as well add on Reader...it's probably inevitable that Google will be taking over the world.

So, go to google.com/reader (or click on the link reading "Reader" on the top of your Gmail or Google account.) If you don't already have Reader set up, this will take to to a Welcome page where you have the option to "Take a Tour" or "Get Started by Adding Subscriptions." If you feel you'd benefit from a tour, go ahead. It's only three pages and only the first is absolutely relevant.

When you are ready to subscribe, click on the appropriate link and you are taken to a starting page. For most of you, only a couple parts of that busy page will be relevant. You most likely will want to start by adding the blogs you currently read.

If you know a little more about the blogging/social media world the "Stay connected to friends & family" section is great for subscribing to specific Blogspot, Wordpress, Flickr, Myspace or even Twitter accounts. If you aren't quite there (or don't understand what that said), proceed below.

At the top left, you'll find a button saying "Add a subscription." I'm explaining this feature because as the number of blogs you read increases, this will likely be how you can continue adding those sites to your blog subscriptions. Click on that button and then type in the address of the site you want to subscribe to.

For example, to subscribe to my blog, type skariann.blogspot.com

The page will then upload, add the new site under "Subscriptions" and list the most recent posts on the site as "Unread."

*Remember, you can also subscribe to any Web site with an RSS feed. For example, to subscribe to my favorite career site, Careerealism, I'd insert careerealism.com. Or to subscribe to a news site like CNN, I'd insert cnn.com. If the site doesn't have a compatible RSS feed, Reader will let you know.

And that's the basic process. Here on my blog in the left column there is also a button that says "Subscribe" and has an RSS button next to it. If you click on that, it will open to a page asking you how to subscribe. If you want to use Google, select that and click "Subscribe Now." Then you can can the feed to your Google home page or to Reader.

Leave a comment or shoot me an email (skariann@gmail.com) if you have any specific questions! Or if you can explain something better than I can!

Here are a selection of some of my recommended blogs (I currently have 136) for you to consider as you continue subscribing:

Family
Christianne Baldwin
Ruthie Ritter
Sister Susie Salisbury (mission blog)

Friends
Gabriel Proulx
Paul Epperson
Jenna and Josh Reynolds
Katie and Jesse May
Todd Frandsen
Marisa Kelley
Adam Murphy
Brindy Bennett
Chris Bishop


Just for Fun
Seriously So Blessed (satirical mommy blog)
Pass the Ice Cream (bad date stories)
Careerealism (career advice for young/emerging professionals)
Elegant WordArt (digital word quotes)
Sweet Life in the Valley (happenings in Utah Valley)
Rickey.org (American Idol recaps/videos/updates)
The Sisters' Cafe (recipe ideas)
Fit Bottomed Girls (great exercise, workout and music tips)

New layout

Changes changes everywhere! Ok folks, I've updated my blog design (finally) and have made some other changes as well. For example, my blog name. It has driven me craaazy for a while how my former blog name was used in a decorative fashion everywhere. It had come through an off-hand thought years ago, and even when the annoyance started, it never seemed right to change the name...I mean, can you doo that?

Well I have. And will now introduce you to my new name: "Sounds to Silence."

Wait.

That sounds familiar...

Hmm, so if you've been following my blog for a while, you've probably heard of my ideas and plans for a music blog I started but have somewhat neglected because I just don't have the time to give it everything I want to. That blog was, in fact, named "Sounds to Silence," a title I had created from a definition of music that read: "Music: any combination of sounds and silence." Even though I made the effort to create a different platform to promote some of my favorite music finds, I've decided to reign it all back in, at least for now. And in doing that, I also decided that I wanted my clever title to live on. Which is why I've adopted that as the new name for this blog.

I love how the title can also encompass so much beyond the music world. After all, everyone's thoughts, words, articles, statements, comments, blogs, etc. make up the "sound" that fills our minds every day. And at times, there is silence. I don't want to sound cheesy with statements of filling the world with positive sounds to ultimately create a beautiful symphony (I'm sure there's even cheesier) or something of that sort, but I kinda like the meaning you can find behind the phrase.

So I hope you enjoy Sounds to Silence from here on out.

P.S. I may be importing some of my posts from that site just so they are over here instead.

Psychology of Wealth

Last month I attended the "Show Me the Money" financial conference for BYU recent graduates. It was really awesome and actually the great beginning to a kinda crazy day. There were four classes to choose two from so I feel lucky that I picked one of the rights ones where I (1) received a free book reflecting the topic of the class called "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth" and (2) signed up for a free mentor program to meet one on one with the presenter, Nathan Billeter, an Ameriprise financial adviser.

My appointment was today, so after work and the gym, I headed over to what turned out to be a very interesting meeting. He asked me if it was what I had expected and, now that it has had a moment to sink in, I admit that there were definitely some aspects I hadn't so directly expected.

I left with several assignments and topics I have to think about more. I admit I've kinda been unsure about what I picture in my future, so this is a great opportunity to determine exactly what that is.

The first question, why I wanted to meet, set me talking and helped determine the path our meeting took. Here am I finally making money and being able to build savings and wanting to make the smartest, best choices moneywise to best prepare for my future. But then I'm not exactly sure what my future is and things are kinda up in the air.

What's up in the air?

Oh so this sends me into my continuous debate of staying or leaving my job. He made it really easy and said that YES, I need to find a better fit for me. (Which means hard core job hunting). In addition, I'm unsure of how long I'll be living in this area (He even mentioned maybe I figure that out and look into buying rather than renting...ah new thought!), when I will get married and all of those aspects like what my husband does, etc. etc. So talking through that, I now have several personal assignments.

To help with building networks and getting myself out there, first off I need to increase my blog subscriber numbers. Really? Yep...I have to double it each month. So today, my measely number reads 14. By May 14th, I need to have 28 subscribers. While I was once hesitant to let others read my blog, I now need to reach out beyond that and probably have a few randoms join in. So if you don't currently subscribe, please do. (Especially because after 28 it goes to 56 and then 112) And if you know any obsessed bloggers (like me), invite them as well. And feel free to post a link to my blog. Oh, or share posts and invite to subscribe. Ah!

Second has to do with dating. (Yes, this was one of the unexpected topics.) This has several aspets including increasing my entertainment and restaurant food budget amounts, aiming to do something every week, being proactive (scary!) and using my interests to place myself in positions that open dating doors. The final part is that I am to seek out blind dates, i.e. ask pretty much everyone I know for potential dates. There, I said it, now do your part... :P

Third, I must ask others to pick out and describe my strengths, be it personal, professional, spiritual, etc. etc. (Right now I feel like I'm just listing all of the things I learned that I need to ask you to do for me!! But I think this is where it stops.) So, if you want to help me out, either leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail (skariann@gmail.com).

P.S. You may just be reading this on my birthday so you might as well tell me good things about myself. :P

Now before I go into more of this, I have to mention a main term from the whole concept of "psychology of wealth" called your financial blueprint. This blueprint reflects what you have innately learned about money and wealth from people around you, most specifically your parents. If you parents always struggled with money, it's more likely that you will too. There's kinda a money limit of what you are "comfortable" with. If you are below it, you will reach up to that limit. But if you are above it, you will ultimately, through spending or other loss, end up back down to that limit you are comfortable with.

A quote from pages 10-11 of "Secrets of the Millionare Mind" states: "The vast majority of people simply do not have the internal capacity to create and hold on to large amounts of money and the increased challenges that go with more money and succes. That, my friends, is the primary reason they don't have much money. A perfect example is lottery winners...regardless of the size of their winnings, most lottery winners eventually return to their original financial state...On the other hand, the opposite occurs for self-made millionaires. Notice that when self-made millionaires lose their money, they usually have it back within a relatively short time. Donald Trump is a good example."

And this is all because of their financial blueprint. (Trumps is set at earning billions while others may only be set at earning hundreds.) Near the end of our meeting, this mentor said that he thinks I'm a little scared of success, which all relates back to my personal financial blueprint. With 6 kids, we were never extremely well off, although we always seemed to get by and have lots of wonderful things. But we kids grew up (me since age 10) having to provide for our personal wants ourselves, e.g. I bought my own clothes, paid, for the most part, for my own dance lessons and there was never a question that I'd pay my own way through college, etc. (This was also a part of teaching us how to use money when we were younger.)

The notion that I'm scared of success seemed a little off at first. Afterall, I feel like I have been pretty successful. I maintained excellent grades in high school and suceeded at my extracuricular activities. I recieved several scholarships before and during working towards my degree. I always found amazing professional internships and jobs and have developed a confidence about my professional work.

But at the same time, I do feel like I am holding back. Am I not fully putting myself out there and reaching out and grabbing everything I want because I'm internally set to maintain only mediocre success? Am I scared of stepping forward and finding myself to be really successful at what I do?

It definitely gives ya something to think about.

Next on my things to do is figure out some numbers to get a magazine started (one of my goals I mentioned). I didn't have time to mention AnneSali Communications, although I think that's a great idea that I also think I would be really happy with and could be passionate about. I need the actual numbers so things can really be put into perspectivie of feasability and how to get there.

With this in mind, I need to outline what my business has to do for me and my life goals. And flowing directly from that, I need to define and write down (or blog) exactly what I want in life. (Example: get married and have family, buy a home, start a business, retire at what age, travel, etc. etc.)

I've decided that I will think about these two things and blog about them within the next week, because I'm still unsure and this post could be even longer than it is already becoming.

And finally I have to mention the spending plan (a better word for budget). We came back to this a few times as we talked about my life goals but I'll end with it today. This plan has a specific order and emphasis based on what you value.

You start with what you earn each month.

In my case, being LDS, the first thing that comes out is tithing.

Then you Pay Yourself First (P.Y.S.F) This amount will depend on your dreams and what you want in life (e.g. retirement, IRA's, savings, etc. ) This is the first thing (besides tithing) because it is for you and what you really want, rather than the immediate spending that can take place.

Next you face the bills, which for me include rent, auto loan, insurance, utilities, gym.

And what's left is for your lifestyle, including food, gas, entertainment, clothing, etc.

Now this is just the basic outline of the spending plan, which is flexible depending on what things you have coming up. For example, if I wanted to travel in a few months, I could sacrafice $30 from my lifestyle to put towards a travel fund.

So the basic outline

Income
- tithing
- P.Y.S.F (retirement, investments, etc.)
- Bills
- Lifestyle

All in all, the session was great. From here, I can continue going to group meetings (the first being May 5th) and maybe possibly become an actual client later on where I continue meeting one on one. There is so much more in this process and I've really enjoyed it so far, so I guess I'll face those choices when the times come. If anyone wants to learn more, or even met with a mentor yourself, let me know. I can give you the guys information, have you come to the meeting with me, etc. Oh plus there's a conference near the end of May that we can get free admission too. I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it yet, since I'd probably have to take off work, but it should be really exciting.

If you've forgotten, there were three things I had to ask you for: (1) increasing my blog subscriber numbers, (2) blind date set ups and (3) identifying my strengths. Believe me, I'll need help with all three. Thanks everyone!

adventures in the kitchen

I wonder if I named my one other food post that too....because it seemed to come rather easily. Oh well, I'm too lazy to check.

I had tried this recipe from Hungry Girl for chicken breaded in Fiber One crumbs and baked (it's really really good) a while ago, but thought it needed a sort of dipping sauce or something. HG talks a lot about the Laughing Cow cheese wedges and in one of the HG daily emails I stumbled upon a cheese sauce that I wanted to try. Sooo after thinking about it for like, oh I don't know, two weeks, I finally got all of the stuff to give it a try.

I did the chicken first, since I had done that before and knew the routine. And while that baked I put together the sauce. I cut the recipe in half because I didn't think I'd use much. After finishing, I (don't laugh) used the lid of an empty peanut jar to be my sauce dish and still had a bit left over. I was steaming my regular side of broccoli (seriously I'm kinda obsessed these days) and thought, "Hey! I wonder how it would work for a cheese broccoli recipe." So I combined the rest of the sauce with my broccoli and sprinkled some remaining Fiber One crumbs on top. (I think this idea could work well for a baked broccoli casserole.)

The result:

Mmmm...yummy huh :P. It was actually really good for dipping the chicken strips. For the broccoli, however, I think I'm so used to just having it plain steamed that the sauce seemed a little much. The sauce is kinda just off on what I wanted it to taste like, so that might require some tweaking...although I'm not sure how.

P.S. I'm also really excited for the new Hungry Girl cookbook to come out when?? on my birthday—April 14th. I've already pre-orded...hehe

P.P.S. I also picked up a butternut squash (adventurous I know) and want to make either these sweet cinnamon "fries" or the regular ones.

Welcoming April

Well April is my favorite month so I figured I'd better start it off with a post. (Especially since I'm gonna try to get back in my grove of blogging.)

Today I didn't really encounter any April Fool's jokes...which was ok. Sometimes things are funny but different people have different levels of humor and its hard to appropriately play into that. I was slightly worried that someone would do something at work that would make it slightly awkward...but nothing! Which was good. Tomorrow's Thursday though and I don't want to have to come up with a Thursday activity...oh the awkwardness. Hopefully I can avoid that.

On my drive to work, people were calling into the radio station to share April Fool's jokes and so I got my joy from that. Also, as I always look forward to, Google launched their annual stunt and though I thought it was apparent, several of you I talked to were somewhat confused. :P
My all time favorite however is Gmail Paper...I mean, come on, wouldn't the idea truly be awesome?

This week started off on not the greatest foot but has increasingly been improving. Sunday was simply horrible for me...ack, not good at all. I get so caught up in stress and inadequacies and not feeling like I can or am accomplishing the things that I should be. I'm kinda a perfectionist so when all of these little imperfections, either in myself or various aspects of my life, add up, I have a hard time dealing with it...kinda like a break down every five minutes sort of thing.

But it reminds me to focus on hope and faith. And by the way, I love the explanation of hope in "True to the Faith"

The word hope is sometimes misunderstood. In our everyday language, the word often has a hint of uncertainty. For example, we may say that we hope for a change in the weather or a visit from a friend. In the language of the gospel, however, the word hope is sure, unwavering, and active.

When we have hope, we trust God's promises. We have a quiet assurance that if we do "the works of righteousness," we "shall receive [our] reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come" (D&C 59:23).

The principle of hope extends into the eternities, but it also can sustain us through the everyday challenges of life.

Anyways, I think April will hold a lot. And I'm excited about that. Today I went to a folk dance performance at BYU (Go Gabe!) and it was really fun being back in that environment. I really enjoyed my time with folk dance and think if I hadn't been so darn dedicated to my academic studies and had sacraficed my schedule a little bit, I could have gotten even more out of it. I talked to a couple people on it still from back in my day...haha some of which was surprising. There was one kid on SPAC that I knew when he was just starting out and several girls and guys on PAC from some of my first teams. It's kinda weird that although some of the girls started with me their freshmen years, they are still there a year and a half after I even graduated. But hey, if I had dropped a mandatory class to be on a certain team... My favorite performances of the evening were actually from SPAC. The No. 1 spot goes to the Cumbia performance. This was a new one for the folk teams and I loved it because I do Cumbia like at least three times a week in my Zumba classes at the gym. So I know all the basic steps and style and it was awesome to see in a choreographed routine. Next went to their Bulgarian routine simply because it brought back my own memories of performing that style at the Spring Festival of Nations. Only my team was twice as big. So with the long strand of dancers clinging to each other by belts, we had quite the time. Back then we actually danced straight on the floor and when someone about 8 in on the line tripped over a cord, half the team went crashing down and the rest of us had to rush to catch up for the rest of the dance....it's hard to explain unless you know Bulgarian dancing...sorry :P

I also got to hang out with Katie May for a little bit (plus dinner a couple weeks ago)...and almost got to see Sarah Jenks but just missed her. I love Katie!! Haha and freshmen year was awesome living with her. (Random thought, but just thought I'd throw that in :P) This month I'm also meeting with a financial mentor which is really exciting and the topic of which will surely inspire a couple posts in the near future. Oh, plus I actual turn 23 this month. (Another blog post may share my experiences of accidentally already believing I'm 23.) Oh AAND this week is General Conference...just a year ago I was working on the conference issue with the Church. AND I get Good Friday off plus my birthday! Yay yay yay.

All in all, welcome April 2009