Spending time alone

I browse a lot of online articles and one day found several that seemed somewhat related. It must be the journalist in me because when I find something of interest, I automatically start gathering sources and points that tie together. Now for those of you who subscribe to my blog, you may have received an advanced preview of some of those sources for this post. One of my little blogging habits is to open drafts and paste links, tidbits, and random thoughts from which I plan to form an actual post later. (I just have to remember to change the date and time to keep it up to date.) And I admit I have dozens of these so called drafts that never make it past my account. Since I accidentally published the draft of this post, I decided to make it a priority in my to-post list.

Without explanation, I know this title seems a little, well, depressing. After all, aren't most thoughts related to being "alone" negative? In Lauren Mackler's article, "Finding the Opportunity in Being Alone," she mentions people often associate things like "lonely," "unwanted," and "afraid" with the idea of being alone.

"Whether single or part of a couple, many people perceive aloneness as something to avoid rather than embrace," she states. "Mastering the art of aloneness is not about being alone. It means living a life in which you feel whole and happy, and can take care of yourself emotionally and financially. It involves embracing aloneness as an opportunity to develop the self-awareness and life skills needed to live a full and gratifying life."

I feel like I could just quote this entire article, but I'll let you check it out for yourself. Among some benefits of taking time to be by yourself, Mackler emphasizes opportunities to "learn about and develop who you are," "do what you love, in which you excel," and "create and live your ideal life."

I definitely think there are social notions related to being alone that are hard to overcome. I said this for almost a year before I tried, but going to a movie by myself was one way I decided to try to break through some of those notions. This was something I had never ever thought about doing. And I remember numerous times stating that this was one activity I couldn't/wouldn't ever attempt by myself. But then I talked to three or four others who said they'd done this and had actually enjoyed it. I was surprised, but eventually decided to try. I won't go into the experience much but I thought it was funny how different it was.

Is the idea of spending time alone still scary? Or is it something you are comfortable with? We all know the people who can't stand to be alone. Or those who actually prefer solitary situations. Not that either is a bad thing, but there are simply some people who must surround themselves with others at all times, and there are others who are comfortable doing things by themselves.

Which are you?

I enjoyed this article by Brett Blumenthal from Sheer Balance, "Do You Spend Enough Time Alone," because it talked about some of the benefits and challenges faced. While some struggle to be comfortable with "arranging solitary me time," some actually NEED this time to recharge. I don't think it's any surprise, but I'm definitely an "alone person." When I think about coming home after a long, tough day, I want to come home to an empty apartment and do whatever I want without distraction for an hour or so to unwind. (Ahh, that's bliss. :P) And there are several activities that I'd definitely choose to do by myself rather than with someone else, like...shopping. (That's the best I could come up with off the top of my head.) Not that I mind shopping as a group activity, but if I'm going shopping with a purpose, it's definitely something I prefer to do by myself.

But again, there has to be a balance. My favorite point from this article is #6: A Higher Appreciation for Those You Love.

Giving yourself the ability to be alone allows you to have a greater appreciation for the time you spend with others. If you never have time for yourself, you'll wish you did. It is important to find some balance in this; but once you do, you'll enjoy your relationships even more."