time

Sometimes I think back in time and wish I were back at a certain place or that I could even change how I acted. I'm not talking about big regrets here...just little things like how you feel about life.

*I just started writing this blog just to write one and didn't really have much of a direction for it. But after I typed that first paragraph, a song popped into my mind. This song is by one of my recent finds, and by far one of my favorites. I actually really relate to a lot of her songs and it really surprises me how many similarities I see in me and my life to the stories and lyrics of her songs. One of the things I've come to love is those connections--finding somethings that you can personally relate to, all in someone else's creative work. So I love finding those songs. I found one a while ago that really reminded me of the situation of one of my friends. I shared it but I don't think that friend appreciated it much. lol. But one thing I also take for granted when I find these "connection songs" is that not everything has to be perfectly compatible. For me to love a song in that way, I don't have to think that every line relates to me. Really, one line can do the job. Also I can relate one line to one situation or experience, the next line to a different thing, and so on. I think why I'm explaining this is because I don't want people to think they know exactly what I'm relating to or that sharing a song I connect to reveals some inner thoughts or meaning. It's not typically always like that..haha. But I do connect to this song for several reasons and it reminded me of some of the thoughts that my intro paragraph led me to. *I actually was able to post the song...yay!



Lyrics from Debra Arlyn's "The Letter"

Today I found one of your letters
You used to write the nicest things to me
Like how you thought I was an independent woman
And you couldn't tear your eyes away when I speak

And words reminded me how goods things were
But things were good, and I only focused on what wasn't right
Now and then I kick myself for not doing what I knew I should
Three years ago that night,
Should've never let you outta my sight

And it's too late to call you this evening
And it's too late to ask if you miss me
And it's too late to tell you I'm sorry
But I know that I'm to blame for making you wait
And now it's too late

I won't deny that we had problems near the end
But I couldn't let you go, as my friend
Oh, and I know you met someone
And you finally moved on
And you're living happily and you hold nothing against me
But everyone deserves closure
Especially when your first real love is over

And it's too late to call you this evening
And it's too late to ask if you miss me
And it's too late to tell you I'm sorry
But I know that I'm to blame for making you wait
And now it's too late

You were so sad for such a long time
And I just moved on with my life
I was so blind, so blind to your feelings
But now I'm missing you tonight
And I can't turn back the hands of time

And it's too late to call you this evening
And it's too late to ask if you miss me
And it's too late to tell you I'm sorry
But I know that I'm to blame for making you wait
And now it's too late

Today I found one of your letters
You used to write the nicest things to me
---

I think now I might find some old letters. Not to live in the past, but to appreciate where I came from, the experiences I've had, and everything I have to look forward to.