Embarrassing thoughts are to follow:

Since my sophomore year in college, a couple of my friends and I have often had what we call “pretend crushes.” Now these “crushes” develop in a variety of ways. Sometimes they come because roommates or friends thinks we would go well with them or if that we would look cute together. (Of course, there isn’t really interest on either side of the actual parties) Sometimes they come because we think someone is cute but have never (and will likely never in the future) talked to them and don’t really know them besides the occasional salutation. Typically, these are people we never see anything truly happening with and thus feel comfortable joking about the potential our lives together would bear. And always, these “crushes” are people we see or encounter often enough to feed our search for amusement and laughs.

The main way our pretend crushes (from here on out, a pretend crush is officially deemed a PC) work is we expand, exaggerate and freak out (in a pretend fashion, of course) about any potential that could possible exist….although it usually and almost certainly does not. Say someone has a PC on a guy in the ward. If we are outside of our apartment making some noise and this PC (yes, it’s a noun and a verb) walks by and glances over, we would undoubtedly talk about it later, for a brief 5 seconds, about how he totally looked over and totally thinks she’s adorably cute. If a PC starts dating someone else (how dare they) we always offer sympathy to our girlfriend and convince her that he’s out of his mind and will come running back to her soon.

My favorite PC story is about one that was somehow developed for me with this kid who was in our ward my sophomore year…and junior year??? Hmm. Anyways, this kid happened to be in the same marriage prep class as me and Grace. Yes, he was dating someone and had no problem sharing his thoughts and experiences about this relationship in our class. Grace and I would throw comments at each other: she to me about how hard this must be for me, and I to her about how I just have to grin and bear it. Well, the highlight of the relationship (sure, I can call it a relationship) was actually on my birthday when I took the day off from class. About mid-day I receive a text from Grace wishing me happy birthday and saying this really must be my lucky day. Why? Well it looks like this PC just had a breakup with his girlfriend! My response: Really? Wow this is like the best birthday ever! I love life! Do you think it’s too soon to make my move?

This particular PC actually got married a little later and I just had to shrug and snap my fingers. But I actually ended up being dance partners with him about a year later. Despite their happy marriage, I do admit there were a few family wrecker possibilities and comments thrown around. But remember—it was all in jest.

And now the reason I bring this up….I’ve actually had a secret crush (secret not pretend) on this kid for a couple years now. I’ve honestly only talked to him like once in the past couple years and know him through friends who I don’t see much so the likelihood of ever running into him is slim….very slim. But today on facebook and my mini-feed I read that, guess what, he and his gf broke up and they are both facebook-officially single. Who knows, maybe our chance is coming! Lol….. ;)